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Fran Lebowitz

22 quotes by this author.

Fran Lebowitz

Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.

Women
Fran Lebowitz

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Teen
Fran Lebowitz

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Success
Fran Lebowitz

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Pet
Fran Lebowitz

Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.

Nature
Fran Lebowitz

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

Nature
Fran Lebowitz

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.

Love
Fran Lebowitz

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Life
Fran Lebowitz

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.

Hope
Fran Lebowitz

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.

Great
Fran Lebowitz

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

God
Fran Lebowitz

If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Future
Fran Lebowitz

Polite conversation is rarely either.

Funny
Fran Lebowitz

You're only as good as your last haircut.

Funny
Fran Lebowitz

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.

Freedom
Fran Lebowitz

If you're going to America, bring your own food.

Food
Fran Lebowitz

Andy Warhol made fame more famous.

Famous
Fran Lebowitz

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child, ' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.

Experience
Fran Lebowitz

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Diet
Fran Lebowitz

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.

Death
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