Phyllis Diller

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.