“Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.”
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Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.