Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 12… — Quoted

“Quotes”

“Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.”

Joan Rivers · Funny

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Joan Rivers

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

Life

Joan Rivers

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.

Respect

Joan Rivers

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Fitness

Joan Rivers

Never floss with a stranger.

Funny