“Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.”
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People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
What are people going to do? Fire me? I've been fired before. Not book me? I've been out of work before. I don't care.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.