The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to remini… — Quoted

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“The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.”

Demetri Martin · Funny

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Demetri Martin

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Time

Demetri Martin

I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.

Birthday

Demetri Martin

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

Funny

Demetri Martin

But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom.

Freedom

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When I look upon seamen, men of science and philosophers, man is the wisest of all beings when I look upon priests and prophets nothing is as contemptible as man.

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