“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
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Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.
I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.
Don't follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.
