On the whole, I prefer Christmas as an adult than I did as a child.
I was a quiet teenager, introverted, full of angst.
You don't go around grieving all the time, but the grief is still there and always will be.
In fact I am quite snappy and irritable, and I don't know if I'd like to make myself worse in that respect.
I never have plans for the future as you never know how things will turn out.
Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies.
In England and America people tend to graze all day long, but I think it's such a waste to be constantly picking at food because you then can't enjoy a proper full meal when the time comes.
And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up.