Lily Tomlin

I guess if people couldn't profit from war I don't think there would be war.

The road to success is always under construction.

Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.

Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.

Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.

Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all.

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.

Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.

The best mind-altering drug is the truth.

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?

We're all in this alone.

Remember we're all in this alone.