“Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.”
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Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
