“A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.”
Tip: press → for another quote, C to copy, S to share.
The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.