I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden na… — Quoted

“Quotes”

“I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.”

Paula Poundstone · Funny

⇩

Show me another

Tip: press → for another quote, C to copy, S to share.

Paula Poundstone

I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music, and laughter, but I like to take this time to take the path of thanks less traveled.

Thankful

Paula Poundstone

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.

Humor

Paula Poundstone

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

Mom

Paula Poundstone

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

Funny