I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone w… — Quoted

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“I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.”

Elayne Boosler · Loneliness

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Elayne Boosler

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'

Car

Elayne Boosler

Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying.

Home

Elayne Boosler

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Funny

Elayne Boosler

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

Funny

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All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.

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