Wilson Mizner

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.

God help those who do not help themselves.

Failure has gone to his head.

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

Art is science made clear.

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.