Spike Milligan

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.