Paul Lynde

The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt.

Learning lines is on my mind until I do know them. I'll read the paper or paint the house to keep from starting to memorize. I've never found an easy way.

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.

Food was a constant topic of conversation in our household.

Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!

I was obsessed with being rich and famous.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

If I ever completely lost my nervousness I would be frightened half to death.

Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they've caused all our grief. They're so awful, they're really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics.

My dad was a ham, too. He could sell those women anything. Of all his sons, I was the only one he could trust to sell as well as he could. I was proud of that.