I think coldness is chic among writers, and particularly ironic coldness. What is absolutely not allowable is sadness. People will do anything rather than to acknowledge that they are sad.
One should never be sexually involved with anyone one genuinely cares for. A sexual relationship guarantees a loss.
We all of us deserve happiness or none of us does.
It was actually a women's writing group I belonged to in graduate school that gave me the courage to move from poetry to fiction.