Joey Adams

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.