Chris Rock

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.

My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.

Hollywood's just not funny.

Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

I love being famous. It's almost like being white.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

I think my best work is when I'm kind of in charge.