“The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.”
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.
You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say.