I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.
“I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.”
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I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home.
The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.