If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't w… — Quoted

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“If my kid couldn't draw I'd make sure that my kitchen magnets didn't work.”

Mitch Hedberg · Work

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Mitch Hedberg

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?

Cool

Mitch Hedberg

A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.

Funny

Mitch Hedberg

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

Business

Mitch Hedberg

All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.

Funny