“It is very reasonable to worry about the harm done by organized religion, and to prefer looser and more private arrangements.”
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Since 1970, relationships can be more volatile, jobs more ephemeral, geographical mobility more intensified, stability of marriage weaker.
If you want to change the culture, you will have to start by changing the organization.
If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny.
Religion can make it worse. Are you supposing that if people were encouraged to believe in a transcendent reality, and to be encouraged by grand rituals and music and preaching, to love their neighbors, then they would put jealousy and frustration aside?