“You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.”
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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.
I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.
The things that make me angry still make me angry. George Carlin is 67, and he's still as funny as he's ever been, and he's still angry. And that makes me feel good, because I feel like if I stick around long enough, I'll still be able to work.